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Picture this: A tumbleweed somersaults along a rocky desert, kicking up a mini tornado of dust and sand. Uh, be honest Enter: the dry spell. Droughts happen. Or maybe you think your sex life will ramp up when you and your S. Since everyone explores sexuality differently, the definition of what counts as dry varies, too. Yeah, it feels weird to stray from routine, and if you think, What is wrong with me? After all, you know that sex is touted for its health benefits, like decreasing stress , improving cardiovascular health, and even helping headaches.
Emotionally, the release of oxytocin helps bond you and your partner , and good sex sure boosts your confidence. No, there's no "use it or lose it" rule here Still, if your dry spell is bothering you fair , McLaughlin suggests asking yourself why. It may be less about your sex life, which, like anyone's, ebbs and flows—and more about what you need to work out within yourself or your relationship, like your body image or feelings of security.
If you feel isolated, your emotional connection with your partner is waning, or you just miss getting it on in general, there are a few ways you can break out of a dry spell. Have no fear! First things first: You have to talk about the dry spell. Who isn't guilty of flipping over in bed when your partner casually tries to initiate sexy time, because you're just not in the mood? Instead, anxieties about performance or feelings of resentment can easily grow until they're much harder to bounce back from, so talking is far from cheap here.
Be open with your S. And that can be just the thing to reignite the fire. In the midst of a dry spell, your first instinct might be to get freaky and start experimenting with BDSM or anal play. Shock the drought out of you, right?
That could work for some see below , but might add onto the pressure for others. Bust out the toys tomorrow. Breaking out of your routine with a creative date night axe throwing, bowling, hitting an escape room can bring back the quality time needed to get those lusty feelings flowing again. Throw an intimate massage into the mix, dedicate a night to a spicy makeout, or try mutual masturbation. Everyone and their grandma is busy. The daily grind can be soul-sucking and libido-crushing. It doesn't have to feel like an annoying to-do. Embrace your inner Dora and change up the environment.
Try taking sex outside the bedroom—or even your house—and see what happens. You know how sometimes it takes a change in scenery to feel more productive at work? The same goes for your love life, too. It's hard to have a popping sex life when you have no one to get rowdy with duh. But if that's you—and you're wanting to break through your dry spell which, just guessing, you do, if you're reading this — consider if you're really doing enough to put yourself out there. Have you fallen off the dating bandwagon, and if so, was that on purpose or by accident?
Have you been putting effort into meeting new people, or holing yourself up on frigid Saturday nights? Are you putting out good, open-hearted vibes or focusing on neggy ones, like feeling envious of all the engagements popping up on your Instagram feed? These are all questions to ask to help you pinpoint next and obvious moves.
On the other hand, if you don't like having sex outside of an exclusive relationship or situationship and you just haven't found the right person to enter into one with, then consider your dry spell evidence of your commitment to your standards. In that case, your "rut" is actually more like a "timeout," so try to reframe it as a positive thing. Which brings me to my next point Yep, taking matters into your own hands literally counts as breaking out of your dry spell. Taking initiative is always applauded, right? Masturbating could also give you the mojo you might be missing to meet someone new, since orgasms help slash stress thanks to the release of oxytocin , regardless of where read: who they come from.
Back to that stress thing—it's a sex-life saboteur, whether you're single or not. But if you don't have an S. Dedicate more time to de-stressing activities, like long baths and working out and yoga, and log solid sleep, for goodness sake. All of these factors help you function as a better, calmer, happier version of yourself, which will pay off when you're trying to break through your dry spell with another human.
Sometimes okay, more like all the time , a dry spell makes you antsy because it makes you feel undesirable. And poor body image has been linked to less sex it's a cycle , so fight that feeling! Try a pole-dancing class with the girls, read some smut ever heard of After? The idea is to go after anything fresh and exciting that puts you back in touch with your body. Beyond feeling extra stressed out and the like, your drought might be a bit more serious and internalized.
It could be time to seek support a. It's really important to stop beating yourself up for going through a dry spell, as that can feed into a negative self-image—ain't no one got time for that! Everyone goes through lulls, some longer than others, and that's A-okay.
As long as you're taking proactive steps to maintain a healthy sex life—as in, masturbating when you don't have a current partner, and talking to a doctor if your libido has dropped ificantly—it doesn't matter if that sex life is on the under-active side. Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Masala Pepper And Cauliflower Omelet. David Trood Getty Images. Related Story. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this to help users provide their addresses.
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